Coping Skills for Anxiety or Depression 13/30 How to Process Emotions (2023)

Introduction

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Coping skills can be really important for anxiety. They often soothe or comfort us, and they help us calm down and make better choices. However, coping skills do nothing to solve our problems in the long term, and some of them, if used exclusively, can be harmful. Coping skills help us take a break from our discomfort, but also from our life purpose. So that’s why I get a little bugged when I hear that the only skill someone is learning in therapy is how to cope.
Using coping skills to get through a crisis and get calm and then coming back and resolving the problem is the best long-term practice. This ability to pause before choosing an action is an essential skill of emotionally resilient people.

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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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Video

Do, you ever feel like your brain falls out when you're emotional? Do you act stupid when you're infatuated? or you make bad decisions when you're scared or angry? Well, most people, do.

And, there's a good reason for that.

-.

The rational part of your brain shuts down when it perceives a threat.

It, doesn't want complex thinking to get in the way of survival.

So.

Examples of this, for our ancestor could have been needing to run away from a tiger or needing to eat something high in calories, so they didn't starve to death or falling in love so that they could reproduce.

Today.

We experience all these same emotions when things get intense, but the circumstances are quite different.

Our brain may enter survival mode when getting feedback from our boss at work or when we have to talk to a big group of people.

We may shut down when getting a bad grade on a school assignment or when we get rejected by a crush.

In.

These circumstances, allowing the brain to regress into survival mode, into our emotionally reactive limbic system is not the best.

Strategy.

We all need a way to slow things down and think clearly so that we can make better choices, help us move through these uncomfortable situations.

Instead of just reacting to them., Our brain and our emotions are incredible, powerful, wonderful, things, but sometimes emotions make us act kind of stupid.

In.

This video you're going to learn 25 coping skills to help with anxiety, depression, and intense emotions.

Coping skills are techniques you can use to get out of your emotional brain back into your rational brain so that you can think clearly again.

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Out; you're, gonna love, it., When I was volunteering in Argentina for a year and a half.

We had a situation where we had been working really hard to help people, really pouring our souls out to try to help people improve their lives, and we were like physically, emotionally, spiritually, giving everything we had.

One day during a meeting.

One of our local leaders, the man who was supposed to be supporting the work we were doing.

He basically told us that all the people we were working with were losers and that there was no hope and that we were doing a terrible job.

We finished that meeting late at night.

We were exhausted.

We were angry, we were discouraged.

And.

My coworker called the president in tears.

We were ready to just quit in that area, and our leader listened carefully and he said Hey Hermanas, go to bed.

Things will look better in the morning.

And and he was right.

After.

We took a break.

We came back to the problem refreshed after a night's sleep.

We were able to go back to that leader with clarity to, you know, confront the issue.

And.

We were able to do a lot of good in that town.

So in this video you're, going to learn all about coping skills., If you're, feeling like you're in crisis.

If you feel like you're, going to make bad choices, if you're afraid you might self-harm, or if you're, just so emotional that you can't think clearly, halt.

Okay.

This is an acronym to help.

You remember that if you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

Or, if you're on substances or if you're, severely depressed or severely anxious or whatever, pause., Slow yourself down and reach out to the resources.

So in the rest of this video, we're going to talk about some of the coping skills you can use, and we're going to develop a little bit of a crisis plan for the people you can connect with in case, you know.

Something comes up that feels a little too big for you to handle in the moment.

Coping skills are activities that we can do that help us calm, down., Many of the best ones incorporate brain and body and don't have negative side effects like emotional eating or drugs do, right.

Now.

This is just a short list;.

There are hundreds of things that people can do to calm themselves.

Down.

And, as you may know, from my previous video Why I Hate Coping Skills, I'm, obviously not a huge fan of relying only on coping skills, but coping skills really do serve an important function in the short term.

They.

Often soothe or comfort us and help us calm down and make better choices.

But coping skills do nothing to solve our problems in the long term, and some of them, if used exclusively, can be harmful.

Coping skills help us take a break from our discomfort, but also from our life purpose.

So.

That's why I get a little bugged when I hear that the only skill someone is learning in therapy is how to cope.

Use coping skills to get through a crisis, to get calm, and then come back and resolve the problem.

This ability to pause before choosing an action is an essential skill of emotionally resilient people.

As.

We develop emotional muscles.

We develop greater capacity to accept and resolve issues that come up for us.

However.

There will be times when we can't process the whole issue.

All at once.

One definition of trauma is something that happens to us faster than we can process it.

If.

We react immediately when we haven't had a chance to work through our thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions.

Then our actions often make things worse.

On, the other hand.

If we just avoid the problem, we also suffer.

So, when an issue is just really big, or perhaps the time or place, isn't right or safe for processing, we can use coping skills to keep ourselves calm or safe until we can go back to the problem and resolve it.

As, you go through this list.

It's important to find a few coping skills that work for you in various settings.

So find some that you can use at home, some for work, and others for when you're in a group of people.

So, let's jump in.

First, there are sensory.

Coping skills.

These are helpful because they incorporate various parts of the brain and body and they can soothe the core brain, that limbic brain where the fight flight freeze response stems.

From.

These include stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, taking a walk, listening to music, feeling a comfortable texture - like a child holding a blanket or an adult, holding a rosary, - smelling an enjoyable smell, getting a massage, exercise, taking a hot shower or a cold face, wash, knitting or sewing, or building something.

Now.

Let's talk about cognitive coping skills.

These can help us process through the thoughts related to the emotion.

So.

These can include writing everything down like with a brain, dump, journaling, meditation, mindfulness, prayer, coloring, guided imagery, and progressive muscle, relaxation.

Let's talk about active coping skills.

These can help us feel safe and supported while facing challenges, right.

So there's playing an instrument, making some music, humor, watching a funny clip on YouTube, watching TV.

So be really careful.

- TV and most things with screens are powerful distractions that take up and turn off much of the brain and essentially prevent the brain from resolving issues.

So.

If you find yourself getting trapped watching too much TV, then I would say: don't use this one as a coping skill., It's, fine in the short term or even in a crisis, but in the long run it's not going to help you out.

Some.

Other coping skills include reading a book, doing a crossword, getting out in nature, planting some seeds, give yourself a facial, or expressing your emotions through art or music.

Okay.

Let's talk about some connection: coping skills., Hug, someone, pet, an animal, talk it out with a friend, write, a letter to someone, or write out your difficulty in an email before talking with them.

Now, using coping skills to avoid our problems can create a dependency on that activity.

I've actually worked with people who have addictions to many of these coping skills.

So I've, seen addictions to TV, to shopping, to food, drugs, alcohol.

I've, seen addictions to Scrabble, video games, social media, eating, exercise, and other coping skills.

So again.

The way to tell if a coping skill is helpful is not only if it makes you feel good, but if it helps you return to resolve the problem.

Healthy coping skills.

Leave you feeling better, the more you do.

It.

But I mean better in the long run.

So write down three activities that you can use to calm down when you're feeling overwhelmed with emotions, and try to think of at least one that will work in a different environment., So work, home or school etc., and then write down three people who you could contact in case of a mental health crisis.

Who are your three go-to people that you could call if you're in crisis.

Now? If you're experiencing a severe mental health crisis right now, please go to your local hospital or call 9-1-1.

And I'd like you to research for your crisis, plan, you know,! What are some of the mental health resources in your area,? So what hotlines could you use.

Now for example, in my country and state? There are a few resources.

There's, the national suicide prevention lifeline and there's Safe Utah.

Both of these.

Allow you to chat with a crisis.

Counselor live either on the phone or through text messaging.

And.

If you'd like to learn more about coping skills and self-care, you can check out my course on on that topic.

The link is in the description.

As.

You work to develop your coping skills, you'll, develop a greater ability to slow yourself, down, make better choices, and get through those crises that do come.

Up.

Thank you for watching, and please take care.

This video is one skill from my 30-skill course: How to Process Your Emotions, where I teach 30 of the most essential skills for resolving depression, anxiety, and improving mental health.

Emotion processing is an essential skill for working through intense emotions, but most people have never been taught how to do.

It.

I'm, putting every single main video lesson on YouTube for the world to access for free.

You, watching these videos, sharing them, contributing to my Patreon and my sponsors make this possible.

If.

You would like to access the entire course in one place: ad free with its workbook, exercises, downloads, extra videos, live Q&A's, additional short readings and links to extended resources.

The link to buy the course is in the description, below.